I wish I sleep tonight and never wake up again, never see the Sun again, take the memories of this dark sans-moon night in my eyes and close them forever...
I wish I never see anyone of the people-with whom I've shared my life of 20 yrs.-again. I am just so sick. So tired. So exhausted. So spent.
Rational thinking has given way and now I only wish I had never lived that day, when the truth was revealed, when my beliefs shattered. When i felt like an orphan.
Yes. I could never rise above that fact. And i could not even live with it. So, i chose the mid-way. I chose to hate those very people who, once upon a time & for the most part of my life, were my life.
It was difficult, ask me. But i was determined not to get hurt by anyone after that one incident. I kept my stride. I always won. I would hurt people, so they wouldn't, couldn't, hurt me back. But, i was only a loser. War has no victors. My soul would die, daily...a part of it.
I would sneer at my people- at their agony, at my victory- victory over something certainly unknown. But when i woke up, when- for a second- I saw the world around me without the glasses of hatred on, I saw my own people- agonized, pained, suffering.
I realized what i had done was not to them, but to my own mortal self. As it is, life is never an exam where u could cut out the whole answer attempted wrongly and make a fresh beginning. It is about life. If i do it wrong, it is wrong forever.
I wish i dont wake up tomorrow, or any morrow for that matter...
